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Bob Norton,
Professional Coach |
A Divorce Coach Will Save You Tens of Thousands of Dollars
and Enormous Pain
Learn about the alternatives to expensive litigation. I will personally work with you, and your spouse if possible, to plan a separation and transition and resolve all issues practically and quickly. Using the expensive and adversarial legal system today is a recipe for disaster
Even attorneys and judges often agree that this system is completely incompetent at handling delicate, family matters. Because this industry is a government monopoly run by lawyers, it is not only inefficient, but it is also enormously destructive to the family's relationships and its assets. In fact most people who go through this system eventually realize too late that their divorce lawyers provide little or no real value, only further damage, at an extremely high cost. Most people feel "ripped off" by this system by the end of their divorce but do not realize how they are being sucked into it until it is too late.
Our Coaching Process Works in ALL 50 States.
It reduces costs dramatically no matter what path you take - in or out of court - because it is about going around the legal system, as much as possible, not using it! |
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Be forewarned:
The average divorce using lawyers now costs $78,000 according to The Wall Street Journal. This does not include all lost work time, income and emotional pain from what can be a never ending process.
The average mediation is about $3,000. Why do you think this cost gap is so big between lawyers and mediators? |
Your divorce will likely be one of the most damaging and expensive things that ever happens to you. Unfortunately the divorce industry is set up as a government monopoly to benefit one group of people - those in the divorce industry.
Attorneys will happily charge you $200, $300, even $500 per hour to educate you about things you could read for free. They also have a direct conflict of interest -- the more difficult and time consuming the divorce, the more money they make. The process is completely insane, even if you were lucky enough to find a good divorce attorney.
Because emotions are flaring, divorce lawyers often separate the couple and prevent communications and and reasonable resolution. This is very profitable for them as it assures a long and difficult process with many billable hours. As a result they often end up getting about 40% of your estate, equity, retirement funds and all other assets while destroying the bonds between ex-spouses and often the parent-child bonds too. This is a tragedy and also a $50 billion industry that is working against all common sense and scientific research on what is best for children. |
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Why the "Legal" Divorce System Does Not Work Well
- If you depend on lawyers in this system you are turning your children and destiny over to government workers! Yes lawyers are members of the judicial branch of government and officers of the court. Their oath and loyalty is to that system before you the client!
- Lawyers in general care and know very little about what is best for your children and family. They are not trained to negotiate or mediation but to litigant and use the law as a bat.
- Judges do not even generally have any experience or training in what is best for children! They claim to do what is "in the best interest of the child" but have no clue what that is, or maybe do not want to know in some cases. In fact what is best for children is almost always a joint custody arrangement with 50-50 time split whenever possible - this is a plain scientific fact except in extreme cases.
- Lawyer's fundamental operating rules are destructive, not constructive. They divide the parties, build paranoia and they bait people to continue down the destructive and wasteful path of litigation. This can cost 40% of your estate in legal fees leaving each spouse with 30% each from the remaining 60%.
- Although this may sound unbelievable to many, this is all very well documented. The book "Taken Into Custody" by Dr. Stephen Baskerville exposes this system's many conflicts of interest and the billions in federal matching funds to states that drive up child support each year by awarding damaging sole-custody to one parent. Yes, even state goverenment profit from sole custody to the tune of BILLION per year!
- The divorce process will do far more damage to you, your soon to be ex-spouse and your children than the divorce itself. Some say lawyers intentionally "pour gasoline on the fire" to drive up conflict and legal fees. I have seen this happen many times and some lawyers even admit this happens every day.
- Many lawyers even encourage their clients to do illegal things like invoking the draconian domestic violence laws when there is no domestic violence involved. This immediately damages the family and children but they like this because it sets up their client for a long, hard and expensive divorce process by shutting down direct communications between the couple completely.
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The Alternative to Lawyers and Judges
There are a few strategies that can be used to avoid the pain and destruction of the divorce process that are dependent on your particular circumstances. A divorce coach simply helps you select the right strategy and manage the process efficiently. Option include:
- Resolve it directly between the couple
- Mediation
- Arbitration
- Mediation moving to arbitration of the remaining items
- Litigation (with a wide variety of paths)
By providing knowledge and experience a coach can guide you through this process and help you avoid the many invisible traps. The relatively minor cost of a divorce coach will likely save both you and your spouse tens of thousands of dollars each in legal fees -- and even more long-term pain and suffering for you and your children.
I do this as a passion to help people because the divorce business is in bad need of reform and destroys families and children financially and economically by default. This can be avoided with some minimal coaching, planning and cooperation. I have been personally involved in divorce reform efforts since 2004 at both the state and federal levels and have met with many legislators and others to expose and reform this damaging system. It now impacts 26 million children negatively, and a similar number of parents, every year.
Our goal is to be "child-centric" taking the children as the most fragile and important part of the divorce process. Money can be replaced but it is easy to do irreparable damage to children that will impact them for the rest of their lives in negative ways. We do not try to "win" for one party or the other. We try to do a fair and equitable agreement and separation that will save the assets of the marriage from plundering by lawyers. The #3 reason for bankruptcy is divorce and so it is important to plan financially as costs will most likely go up and income may, or may not. |
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What a Divorce Coach Can Do For You
Our primary objective is to develop a plan and get to closure quickly with a minimum of emotional and financial damage to all parties. This will most often take three to six months to fully complete (due to legal filings needed) compared to two to five years in the legal system. The plan and strategy itself can be developed in a few weeks. Protecting the children will be the highest priority and your assets will be the second. We will do this by:
- Helping set your strategy to minimize financial cost and emotional damage. Having a plan early is the key so that lawyers do not lead you down the most expensive and adversarial path
- Developing a financial plan for a transitional period and your new life after the divorce is final
- Helping you understand what works best for your children and plan for minimum damage (some is unavoidable)
- Helping maintain civil communications and a productive relationship with your ex-spouse
- Being an unbiased, third party advisor who can provide independent and outside perspective
- Providing referrals and guidance to other needed services before, during and after the divorce process
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The Typical Process We Use
- Sign a simple engagement agreement (< 2 pages)
- Provide you with lots of information on the process (read at your leisure)
- Discovery Process (financial and living situation) - 1-3 weeks
- Temporary parenting plan and financial arrangements
- Development of a Transition Plan for the couple and children to minimize disruption - 1-4 weeks
- Development of a 2-3 year personal budget - 1-4 weeks
- Reach a fair agreement on asset distribution - time varies greatly
- This may involve working with one side or both with some conference calls
- Depending on the level of animosity you may use a mediator or resolve everything without one
- Development an agreement on a permanent parenting plan - also varies greatly but we start with a simple boilerplate (while attorneys will often develop everything custom on the hourly clock)
- Submission to court of all documents for approval by a judge (most do not even read this when it is a mutual agreement) - The legal submission process for an uncontested divorce is allowed in all 50 states (no trial, elaborate discovery and a savings of several tens of thousands of dollars is the benefit compared to litigation) .
Note: All of these steps are optional if you have the expertise to figure these things out yourself. Our goal is to prevent escalation and keep costs to a minimum. |
Contact Us Today at (508) 616-5552 from 9am to 9pm ET -- We offer a free 20 minute phone consultation to evaluate your situation.
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Options For Working With Us to Minimize the Negative Impact of Separation |
| Package |
Typical Services Performed |
Estimated Cost & Hourly Rate |
| Complete Start to Finish Service |
Full guidance through an "average" divorce over the course of 6 to 12 months which involves children and some significant assets. Includes customized development of the a transition calendar, milestones, parenting plan and financial plan(s) shown below. We change less than half the rate of most divorce lawyers and will provide advice, guidance and reading that will most likely save you literally tens of thousands in legal bills. |
$1,500-$3,000
@ $125/hour |
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Development of:
- Strategy & Milestones
- Financial Plan & Budgets
- Parenting Plan
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Development of three plans specific to your situation:
1) Customized, timeline and milestones for the separation and transition to minimize cost and damage to family bonds and children. Having an agreed upon calendar can often keep things moving.
2) Customized parenting plan detailing the time each parent and child(ren) will get with both parents. Research shows children do far better with near equal time and so that is always our ideal recommended starting point.
3) Financial plan and budget.
As a coach we will coach you through a couple iterations. You may wish to work directly with your spouse, this is ideal, but sometimes difficult. You may also work with a mediator, or we can have separate conversations with both parties (unlike attorneys who can not do this due to court rules). We do NOT recommend an attorney at this stage. |
Average:
$1,250
$125/hour |
| Hourly, As Needed |
OPTION: Use us only as needed to answer specific questions
In this case we take no responsibility for the overall process, outcome or plans, only advise and answer specific questions as needed, provide resources and referrals. |
$140/hour
2 hour minimum prepaid. |
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A $250 non-refundable deposit is required for all options to begin after a free initial consultation. Credit cards accepted. |
Things you should know::
We are not lawyers, psychologists or therapists and do not offer specific legal, medical or psychological advice. We help you avoid a more expensive legal confrontation through our experience with this process. Divorce law varies by state, though there is a lot of overlap and common problems caused by legal practices and various federal financial incentives for child support, domestic violence and others behavior by states. We will not represent you in court, though members of groups are allowed to do this. This is a private coaching and consulting relationship with a confidential and fiduciary relationship and requires the signing of a letter of engagement. A small deposit is required to start. An hourly rate of $125 to $140 per hour plus any expenses is billed for all work. Expenses are usually minimal unless we mediate. In that case there can be fees for overnight mail, travel and other items.
Estimates are based on an average situation. The goal is to minimize cost and pain of the process for you, your children and your spouse. We may, where legal, offer negotiation, mediation or other additional services that will get to a divorce settlement more quickly. Our goal is to make regular progress continuing to take issues off the table at each step. Depending on your situation you may be required to read certain materials, books and/or even attend classes (required in some states). Credit cards are accepted.
NOTE: If you want to deny your spouse all time with your children, and there is not serious physical abuse, we will refuse to work with you and recommend you seek other kinds of personal and/or professional help because this is damaging to your children. Denying children access to the other parent is called "parental alienation" or "hostile aggressive parenting". This is often indicative of serious psychological and/or emotional problems with the parent and in many states is considered a reason for them to not have custody. Conditions indicated by this behavior may include bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder, low self-esteem and other clinical conditions which we are not equipped to treat. It is often also due to a parents desire to "get even" with their spouse and/or obtain child support, alimony, possession of a home or other factors.
NOT CONVINCED YET? CONSIDER THESE FACTS ABOUT USING AN ATTORNEY AND DEPENDING ON THE LEGAL SYSTEM
Why do you NEED a divorce coach? Because of these problems with divorce attorneys that can be avoided using a coach:
- Lawyers have major conflicts of interest due to their fee structure and "legal" practices that exacerbate the issues.
- Lawyers use a legal approach designed for criminals and morphed into a "civil system" that is itself completely impractical and wasteful of time and resources. The legal system is not a practical approach. It includes shutting down communications between the couple! The number #1 rule in any negotiation and meditation is to keep the lines of communications open. This standard operating procedure for lawyers virtually guarantees a longer process and higher fees for them. The #1 priority should be to leave lines of communication open as anyone who ever took a negotiations course knows.
- Lawyers have very high hourly rates not justified by the value they contribute but only made possible by the monopolistic practices of the legal industry cartel which is under the The American Bar Association (ABA) and its states. Did you know that 60% of legal cases are in family law?! So even the ABA is subject to the majority of its members to support this mess.
- Lawyers are more concerned about not confronting judges who they see regularly, than with what is best for their clients' and their client's children. The court system is an "old boys club" that wants to maintain its monopoly and lawyers refuse to challenge judges even when the law is on their side.
- Attorneys want you to work through other attorneys. This drives up fees while adding no value at all. Two cash clocks running for each sentence and line of a letter. Thye also want to maintain control of the process. In my view this is unethical behavior and yet standard practice for divorce attorneys.
- Everyone knows that most attorneys have questionable loyalties and ethics. Surveys show trust of attorneys by the public is way under that of used car salespeople and with good reason - attorneys take whatever position the party that pays them takes and therefore must have a "flexible moral integrity" to even become an attorney. They work for who pays them, not for who is right.
Divorce attorneys have a complete lack of understanding of what is "best for children" and want to maintain that ignorance to generate more custody battles for themselves. Often the children are not even on their radar screen because they want to "win" money for the client to justify their high fees. This creates even higher conflict and causes a destructive and profitable divorce process for lawyers. Attorneys use paranoia, separation, fear mongering and other scare tactics to control the case and keep it going longer.
BOTTOM LINE: Do not trust any divorce attorney! They are all trained in law school to do the exact wrong things: separate, escalate and litigate.
Even the good ones are stymied by the system they are in which is systemically incompetent.
Background on Mr. Norton:
Mr. Norton has been a full-time coach since 2002 and is the author of numerous books. Although he spends most of his time coaching and training CEOs he became commited to the cause of divorce reform in 2004 when he went through a divorce and his completely incompetent judge broke the law 36 times over two years until being recused. As a result of this, and also the unethical behavior of his wife's attorney, who lied constantly to the court to win money and cause problems which temporarily separated him from his children without cause, he became committed to the cause of divorce reform. He is applying his considerable business, leadership and strategic planning and coaching skills to this cause with the goal of eliminating the divorce industry completely in its current form. His efforts have already had a significant impact in Massachusetts where the percentage of people representing themselves, and resolving their issues outside the legal system moved from about 25% to 50% over the last two years as efforts to educate people take hold. This means the Massachusetts divorce lawyers have lost about $400,000,000 per year in revenues (about 1/3) since this campaign and effort started.
Bob Norton started his career as a computer programmer in 1981, became a Director of Software Development in 1984, Vice President of Engineering in 1986 and in 1989 founded his first company as a CEO. He has grown two companies to over $100 million in sales and done philanthropic work non-stop since 1995.
Mr. Norton is an author and speaker and also runs seminars for CEO's as the president of C-Level Enterprises, Inc. C-Level develops and distributes training and information products for several markets and does coaching work. He is not an attorney and will take offense to any comment which implies he is, though he has done much of his own legal work since 1989.
Due to his own divorce situation and the damage it did to his children and him he has decided to dedicate at least 10 years of philanthropic work towards divorce reform efforts. Previously he has done philanthropic work for children, including raising millions in funding for K-12 school technology and teaching low income children sailing to build character and confidence. As a CEO since 1989 he is very experience in legal matters, negotiation, management and leadership. He teaches a CEO Boot Camp and coaches CEO's at a significantly higher hourly rate than this divorce coaching work which is part of his divorce reform efforts to build a better model for this industry.
Mr. Norton is dedicated to complete reform of the broken divorce system, which awards sole custody about 92% of the time even though all the credible scientific research has proven that this is the most harmful situation for children. It is clear to anyone who studies it that the divorce industry is corrupted by money and obsolete traditions and is causing great damage to children, the U.S. and its families. He is working with legislators and others to drive massive reform ASAP. This work began in 2005 and divorce coaching is a means to this reform goal. There are currently over 100 non-profit organization dedicated to divorce reform but a for-profit model is required to reform this $100+ billion industry due to the financial momentum and vested interests that resist change to maintain these ill gotten profits.
Contact Us Today at (508) 616-5552 from 9am to 9pm ET - We offer a free 20 minute phone consultation to evaluate your situation.
Click here to learn about the DVD Best Interest of the Child from Dr. Warren Farrell which every parent should watch.